Heritage Day

I was fortunate enough to be able to participate in one of the most excellent holiday celebrations ever this week. Even better, I was able to celebrate it TWICE. Once at St. Leo and once at 1000 Hills Community Helpers.

To give you a little background on the holiday itself, I will first allow two of our grade 4 learners to explain a bit about it two you. Pinky and Bongi on Heritage Day and King Shaka:



For more detailed information see:

http://braai4heritage.co.za/ (thanks, Shin!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heritage_Day_(South_Africa)

At St. Leo we spent the day watching the learners from each grade do various traditional dances paying homage to their heritage. We also shared a communal meal with the teachers afterwards. Shin and I filled our plates with the traditional Zulu cuisine that the teachers had prepared. I proudly partook in eating tripe, which is the lining of a cow’s stomach. I was a little too brazen with my food selection, though. After a close call with the tripe, I let Shin finish the liver I had also taken. Oh well, at least I tried!

At 1000 Hills, the teachers and learners in the crèche prepared a dance routine including a whole bunch of awesome Zulu dancing. I even participated a little bit. The kids were all decked out in traditional garments and everyone was in a happy and festive mood, celebrating each others’ cultures.

Grade 3 Zulu Kicks

A few weeks ago Shin and I had the pleasure of watching Lindani, one of the awesome Grade 7 boys we teach, do a little teaching himself. We walked out of our classroom because of a ruckus going on outside the windows. To our amusement and joy, Lindani was teaching all the grade 3 boys how to do a proper Zulu kick. Have a look:

Holiday Programme in Review (Finally)

Remember two months ago when it was the FIFA World Cup? I finally got around to loading some photos of the work we did at St. Leo and at 1000 HCH. MK and Shin did most of the work at Leo’s while Meg and I focused our energies on 1000 Hills:

At Leo’s we had a daily countdown to the Cup. Here is what it looked like:

Leo’s had a two week camp where we divided the kids into teams according to country. MK made sweet bracelets to keep track of the kiddos.

Lusanda, a grade 4 learner, shows his Paper Mache skills.

MK, Shin and Ayanda (the St. Leo’s Computer teacher) had Net Ball tourneys to keep the kids active and entertained.

And the kids decorated soccer kits for whichever team they were (they matched the groovy bracelets that MK made) assigned.

Over the hill, in Inchanga Meg and I kept the kids at the Community Center well entertained…

We did lots of Bafana themed art projects and face paints.

Some of our teachers, Pretty and Dumah, helped decorate the creche’s Bafana poster.

We also had a very successful art gallery to display all of the learners' work.

And an awesome inspirational heroes project. (If you look closely you can see “Spongebob is my hero because he is funny.” And the more sentimental and meaningful “Maduma (Dawn Leppan – founder of 1000 HCH) is my hero because she helped me.”)

A Poem For Alwa

There is an awesome baby at the 1000 Hills Community Center Creche who I have completely fallen for. Her name is Alwande and she has the most phenomenal smile. Our favorite thing about Alwa happens to be her hilarious hair. She comes in every week or so with a new hair style. It usually involves some sort of hair extensions. Keep in mind that Alwa is only 2 years old.

Anyways, this is a picture of Alwa, so that you can visualize her crazy hair.

And here is a poem that Shin wrote for her, which I try to recite to her at least once a week.

Poem for Alwa:
Your hair is so cray-cray
Even though you're just a baybay.

That's all there is for now, but I have faith that Alwa's hair will continue to change in crazy ways and our poetic creativity will grow as well.

Alwa is one of the brightest moments of my day when I work at 1000 HCH.

Visual Aide

After 8 months of being here, I thought I'd provide you with some visual assistance so that everything isn't left up to the imagination:

Below is a picture of our humble cottage, though the property you find it on is a little less so. The bay window opens up to our dining room/living room (which, if you have skyped with me, you will also have seen).

This (below) is the view from our house. I can see the sunrise and set every day. When I look at it, in photograph form and for real, I wonder how the hell I'm supposed to leave it in four months.

Below is a picture of what we like to do on weekends. Usually it involves laughing a lot. Most of the time it happens outside. Sometimes there are giraffes. Always its the four of us. From Left to Right: Me, Sinead, Mary-Kate and Meg.

I wanted to include a photo of Durban during the World Cup. It took me a long time to decide on this one. It doesn't show the actual city, but the colors are a representation of the excitement, joy and diversity that flooded the rainbow nation for a few brief weeks.

More photos coming soon, but I hope you enjoy these in the mean time.

Writer's Block

The chaos involving the wrapping up of the 2010 FIFA World Cup has clogged up my creative flow. I will have some useful material for you soon, but for the time being; let me share with you something that I find inspiration in:

Below is a quote from the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller reflecting on why he chooses to be concerned with social issues. I take these words to heart in a way I wish I could fully convey to you:

“The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain politician; the problem is the same as it always has been.

I am the problem.

I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment when he stops blaming the problems of the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. I hate this more than anything. This is the hardest principle within Christian spirituality for me to deal with. The problem is not out there; the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives in my chest.

(…)

More than my questions about efficacy of social action were my questions about my own motives. Do I want social justice for the oppressed, or do I want to be known as a socially active person? “

A Few Funny Moments

1. The Dancing Gogo of A Thousand Hills: After a long day at the crèche and clinic at 1000 HCH, as I was driving home I noticed a lone Gogo thumbin’ it on the side of the road. Begrudgingly, I pulled over to offer her a lift (imagine the rhythmic stylings of Paul Simon with Ladysmith Black Mombazo grooving in the background). She hopped, or more accurately – hobbled, into my car and immediately popped her hands into the air and started swaying and singing to the music. She said “This is nice music, my baby” and continued to dance for the next 15km until I dropped her off in Drummond. And I will never begrudge a Gogo in need of a lift again.

2. Gogo Gloria’s Advice for the week:

- Never travel alone. It is not nice. Especially when you are flying. You will see couples travelling together and it will make you feel very sad.

- It’s okay if I don’t marry until I’m 50. You have to wait for the right man. And sometimes you don’t find him until you are 50.

3. Loud Noises: In the silence of grade 4 hard at work on a worksheet about the 5 senses, a child let out the loudest fart I have ever heard in my entire life (even louder than yours, Campanelli).

4. He Who Must Not Be Named: I got to spend over 5 hours reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince aloud to Siya. My life is awesome. Also – the enraptured look on Siyabonga’s face was worth every minute of reading. AND he now is reading them on his own. Hell Yeah.

Ayoba, South Africa, Ayoba!

Just in case you wanted to be tuned into the things filling my mind and radio in the empty moments:

Waka Waka by Shakira featuring Freshly Ground

(Just a heads up to all you peeps not livin’ in RSA right now… Freshly Ground is this kick ass band fromSouth Africa that I have fallen in love with. Check them out here.) Some other things you should know about this awesome song... I learned the dance for it at the fan park last weekend. Also, Sphelele and Sphesihle, two Grade 3 boys at St. Leo, graced Shin and I with the privelege of hearing them sing and dance the entire thing. What a treat. Annnnd... I can't listen to this song without tearing up about how awesome a thing it has been for me to live here and be a part of this. So, thanks Shakira, for inducing tears constantly, since it's pretty much all I hear on the radio these days.



SHOUT for a safer South Africa

This song hasn't gotten as much publicity as the other two, but it is an awesome cover by South Africa artists to promote safety and decrease violence during the World Cup. Check out the cause here.



Wave Your Flag by K'Naan

This song, which I am sure you have all heard, is the Official Anthem of the 2010 World Cup. K'Naan is awesome and was actually in Durbs performing at the Fan Park for the Semi-Final match last week. When we went to the Fan Park to watch a game, it was a safe bet that we would hear this song at least 10 times (I promise that is not an exaggeration. really.) I will always think of dancing in the sand with people from all over the world at the beginning, middle, and end of each game we watched at the fan park. And even though I feel frustration and resentment about this song and about the damage the World Cup may have caused and about vuvuzelas being really fucking loud and annoying, this song makes me heart fill up with joy anyways.



And that's that. Please enjoy.

Three Little Birds

I’ve been listening to this Bob Marley song quite frequently recently. This month went by without even a blink. I really don’t know where it went, but my body feels its lingering presence. I think all of our exhaustion is at a pretty low point. So instead of waiting for rejuvenation, we create it for ourselves.

My own way has been to constantly continue the “Why I love…” list. So here are so more jewels for you (or for me):

1. I love good beer. I love when the Shongweni man gives us a free one for being such frequent and regular customers. I love when we go to the Market and see old men drinking them before 10am because, well, who the hell cares.
2. I love my roommates’ cooking talents and the development of my own. This week I made cauliflower fritters with my very own homemade tatziki sauce and an awesome greek salad. Sinead is currently cooking up a fabulous onion soup recipe courtesy of Jamie Oliver.
3. I love the way the air smells like winter (even when the smell really might just be the burning rubbish. I don’t mind.)
4. I love the awesome gift of being able to share this experience with visitors (such as Sam, Shin’s family, Cat and Chrissy, Meg’s friends and all visitors to come). As many of you know, it is quite impossible to explain an inexplicable experience to anyone who has not seen it with their own eyes. So I am thankful for having a few people see for themselves what our lives are here and what the work we do is.
5. I really love the new Durban Waterfront
6. I love Woolworth’s picnics on the beach.
7. I love going to breakfast with people I love after a long, long night out.
8. I love finding my roommates amidst the crowds when we hearing the fateful opening beats of Toto’s “Africa” at a bar.
9. I have never appreciated cheese so much in my entire life.
10. I love face painting and I love paper mache.

Why I wake up in the morning...

Our Favorite Lessons

I thought in an attempt to give you some insight into our classroom life at St. Leo's and more recently for me in the 1000 HCH creche that perhaps I would provide you with some pictures of our favorite lessons and a brief explanation:

There is an awesome book in the St. Leo's library called The Gruffalo. Maybe someday if you are lucky enough I will read it to you. Anyways, we did an awesome project with grade 4 after reading The Gruffalo. First we talked about adjectives and then we each drew our own Gruffalo. Here are some of the finished results.



This particular project was one of my favorites... although I had nothing to do with it. But, I wanted to share it with all of you because of how awesome I think it is. So here is the Grade 3 Earth Day project courtesy of MK and Shin. They did a wonderful job if I do say so myself.





Sometimes we have days where we feel silly. That's what happened when we did the letter "H" with Grade 4. So we made hats and listened to music all day:



And of course we did several lessons of the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Here are some pictures of our favorites:
Percival, Sizwe and Vuyani showing off our 2010 "South Africa Welcomes the World" Wall.
And below, our classroom beautiful decorated with the grade 3's Bafana Bafana Jerseys:




Also, in case you were wondering... yes. I hear vuvuzelas ALL the time. No, I don't own one. But I have tried blowing on one thanks to the boys from St. Theresa's:

International Languages: It Thrills Me Right Down To My Marrow.

South Africa has this amazing musician named Johnny Clegg. The French have come to refer to him (quite aptly) as the “White Zulu”.

On Thursday, Meg, Shin and I met up with our friends Andrew and Gordon to go see Johnny perform at Gateway (the largest mall in the Southern Hemisphere). The show opened with the lead singer of a band called Tree63. He ended his performance with Three Little Birds > Wave Your Flag > Nkosi Si’Kelele Afrika. It was awesome.

Anyways – Johnny opened the show with a few of our favourites, including “I’m Sitting on the Top of Kilimanjaro” in which he rhymes several words with Kilimanjaro, including marrow, tomorrow, and sorrow.

I stopped grooving long enough to realize that I was in a crowd of mostly white South Africans but we were all dancing and singing along to songs written and sung entirely in Zulu. At first I was irritated. Why couldn’t these white South Africans make more of an effort to integrate the culture that surrounds them into their lives. But then I realized that was exactly what was happening all around me. And, seriously – how cool is that?!

And then yesterday, we decided that instead of walking back to the car from the FIFA fan park, we would dance. Don’t worry… 4 little white girls from the Northeast of the USA started several dance parties. It didn’t matter what race we were or what colour we were or what language we spoke. Music doesn’t give a damn about that nonsense. It was just music and dancing. Man, I wish the world could be so simple.

So between the white zulu, a million world cup dance parties, and a few good soccer matches, I think we have safely exited the mid-yea slump and are moving on with the next 6 months of our South African lives.

Feel it. It is here.

When I studied abroad in Pretoria in 2007, a billboard was put up that we saw when we walked to class. It said “South Africa: Host of the 2010 FIFA World Cup”. I remember thinking how far away it seemed. My classmates and I talked extensively about how awesome it would be to reunite in 3.5 years in South Africa to celebrate such a momentous event for the country and the continent. Almost 4 years ago it seemed impossible to think about it. Yet, here I live, in the country I fell in love with four years ago.

Last night, I was part of the dream that has materialized for South Africa. At 2pm, in Durban, I got to stand with people from all over the world, proudly bearing both the American and South African flags. My residual feeling of grief and anxiety did not exist last night as I watched the opening ceremonies. I am so proud to be here for this.

The emotion I experienced and witnessed in others was very much like watching the streets of South Central Los Angeles flood as we realized we had elected our first black president. It was like the peace that settled over the crowd during Obama’s inauguration. Flags of every culture cover cars, very similar, in a way, to the comraderie that America found after the tragedy of 9/11.

South Africa has a lot of problems. But for now, in this month, ubuntu seems more real than ever. So, I’m grabbin’ my vuvuzela, puttin’ on my red white and blue, and heading to Durbs for the England v. USA match.

PS – If you were wondering… South Africa’s team tied Mexico 1-1 last night. And South Africa scored the first goal of the 2010 FIFA World Cup.

Feel it. It is here.

7 Days

I apologize for the pause in blogging for the past week. Our house was hit by lightning in a large storm a few weeks ago and our internet and computer have been out of whack for quite some time. But we seem to be back on track (finally).

I wrote this blog out on some paper scraps from our classroom at St. Leo’s. It was lunchtime when I was writing (10 a.m.) and Shin and I were listening to Eddie Vedder sing to us from the Into The Wild soundtrack. Shin was reading aloud from her Bill Bryson book about Shakespeare and offering me interesting facts about his life and I was trying to ignore the screaming Grade R outside the door to focus on this blog post.

I’m still feeling the effects of the mid-year slump. My love for this place and the kids and people I come across is constantly at war with my frustration with the way South Africa works as a whole and with my homesickness and longing to feel comfortable again (although, my physical comfort is fine… my discomfort is almost entirely intangible). What a loss to myself if I fail to continually challenge myself towards discomfort. I hope I never settle into comfort and disregard the worlds injustices.

So, moving on… I guess an update about life would be a good place to start:

- Things at 1000 HCH are going well. There’s been a little bit of conflict regarding Meg and my job definition as full-time volunteers. It’s challenging to not have a clearly defined role in a place. Otherwise, we gave out quarterly food parcels on Tuesday and the center was a madhouse. But it was a positive energy. Everyone was singing and dancing while they patiently (for the most part) waited to be given their parcels. I haven’t seen Samke or Phume since their first visit, so that is upsetting. On a brighter note, we are helping two diabetic Gogos pay for their medicine through the aid of an awesome US NPO called Care Now!. If it goes well, they might start a sponsoring program for the Gogos!

- St. Leo’s is going well this week. We made hats with Grade 4 last week (picture coming soon!). I am planning to go to an internet café sometime soon and upload a video of them singing so you can envision it a little better. We had mass with the school and a new Zulu priest yesterday. I feel solidarity with them in the strongest way possible when we attend mass together. It is a very unique and special feeling. It’s as if skin color finally becomes irrelevant. Wealth doesn’t matter during the ceremony because when it comes down to it, we are all part of the same big thing. Thank God for little prayers answered.

- Everyone in South Africa is gearing up for the World Cup (which, by the way, is only 7 days away). Every Friday everyone in the country wears yellow and green and pulls out their Bafana Bafana jerseys. At St. Leo we have a pep rally to get pumped up. When I’m not focusing on how damaging the World Cup could be for my kids, it actually is quite a unifying and beautiful thing for this country. It evokes pride and comraderie that reminds me of the Post-9/11 feelings that happened in the United States. Everyone seems to look past their differences to wear the SA flag and cheer together.

To leave you on a laughing note, on Monday Shin and I taught Grade 6 and I had the most hilariously klutzy day. First, as I was writing on it, the chalkboard flew off the wall and almost ate me. Then, as I was picking up the chalkboard and trying to recover from the incident, I accidentally stepped on the hem of my skirt and as I stood up I failed to bring my skirt with me. Thank goodness I chose to wear leggings that day, though I think the Grade 6 boys were still thoroughly embarrassed (don’t worry boys, so was I).

Ukubonga

Five months is definitely a good point for a mid-year slump. The approaching Fifa World Cup evokes in me not excitement but dread. There is an iron fist in my stomach and I wonder if a country with the fastest growing HIV/AIDS rate in the world can handle such a huge influx of people and attention.

All 4 of us have been facing these less than pleasant emotions for the past few weeks. In an attempt to raise morale, Shin did an awesome spirituality night that involved talking about not what frustrates us about South Africa, but what we can’t imagine living without. I’m going to share them with you. My life will never ever be the same because of these things:

- Hour long prayers at St. Leo because teachers aren’t there. Specifically Lindani’s bashful face when he realizes you are watching him.

- Phumelele sneaking a bran muffin into my purse.

- Waking up and looking at Embo every morning.

- Solidarity. And somehow figuring it out.

- Female role models: Karen, Dawn, Themba, the 1000 HCH ladies, Gogos.

- Gogos in general. Particularly Gogo Ndlovu, Gogo Gloria, Gogo Flossie., etc….

- Slow jams

- South African Wine and Salti-Crax

- Being an Auntie at St. Theresa’s Boys Home. Cottage One. Loving the hell out of teenage boys who are embarrassed by me. The Ngcobo brothers (the picture is of me and the 3 of them: Siyabonga, Sfiso, and Manqoba)

- “throwing it to Embo” – when my brother was here he caught a very large mouse in our house and threw it into the valley of Embo.

- The man who sells us beer every weekend at the Shongweni Market

- The Shongweni Market

- SA terminology: robots, boot, keen, etc…

- Avos the size of your face

- The world’s most beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

- The letters Q, C and X and being able to properly pronounce them

- R7.58 to the US Dollar

- Karaoke

- The Indian Ocean

- When people think I know what the hell I am doing at work.

- Learning what the hell I am doing. Ngiyafunda.

There is so much more and I will always add to this. It is such a healthy way to remind myself (ourselves) that moments are fleeting. The is no room for anything but gratefulness and thanksgiving.

A Weekend in 1000 Hills

A Weekend in 1000 Hills

Some of my blogs will probably end up being long, thoughtful, and reflective. Others, like this one, will be simple and less emotionally charged updates.

My current small joy is that I discovered I have a recording of “Children Go Where I Send Thee” on my iPod. I realize that it is Christmas music, but it’s the little things in life that bring joy. Also, it’s winter here so but me some slack! J

This weekend seemed more low key compared to last weekend’s South Coast camping shenanigans. But for a low key weekend we accomplished a good amount of things.

Every Friday Shin, MK and I drive to Gogo Ndlovu’s house (Gogo is Themba Themba’s mother). We spend a little over 2 hours with Gogo each Friday attempting to get some of the Zulu language to stick in our minds. It’s difficult on Fridays to find the motivation to study a language so foreign to us especially after a week of draining and emotional work. Gogo is worth putting out the extra effort though. She always, without fail makes us laugh. For instance, while teaching us verb classes this week, she used “I don’t like your upper lip” as a casual example. Maybe it’s not funny right now but trust me that hearing an older Zulu Gogo say it so nonchalantly will have you nearly wetting yourself with laughter.

Saturday we spent the day at one of the most beautiful houses I’ve ever had the pleasure of being in. Someone decided to throw a benefit beauty event for the Kloof SPCA and for 1000 HCH. So the girls and I attended, on Dawn’s dime. We drank Mimosas, at cupcakes with sparkles, and listened to 3 hours of beauty tips (I felt a little awkward in my unbrushed hair and my Birkenstocks, but hey, it was for a good cause). I think that sometimes I feel extremely uncomfortable around excessive displays of money, but that’s a whole other blog. The amazing thing about the event was that the host announced at the end that she would be donating 100% of the proceeds. That means that she footed the entire bill for the beautiful event. After she announced that, my discomfort melted into sheer gratitude.

Meg and I went to one of our co-workers birthday celebrations on Sunday. The women who volunteer at 1000 HCH are incredible. We really are so incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by so many people so full of love. I had a chocolate milkshake and a man named Patrick played James Taylor on his guitar. My moments of sadness about being here are always washed away by moments like that. When I am surrounded by people I love and music I love and a chocolate milkshake, I forget the sad things and only remember the love I feel.

Finishing off the weekend, MK and I drove to Kwanyuswa to visit Gogo Gloria. She was bitten by a snake a few years ago and developed a relationship with the previous volunteers while she was being treated at the Respite Unit. When Brian (another former volunteer) visited in March, he introduced MK to her and now we are able to continue that relationship, which I am very grateful for. We sat with Gogo for about 1.5 hours but it only felt like 20 minutes. She told us about many things. She talked for a while about Madonna and her adoptions, divorces, and travels. She is the sharpest woman. She remembers everyones names. When my brother was here he visited with her. Three weeks later she asked how he is doing back in the states at work with my mom. Gogo also commented on our short dresses (knee length!!) saying that MK and I both should wear them because we have strong legs, unlike hers which were bitten by the snake. Also, apparently we have good teeth.

Spending time with Gogo was the perfect end to the weekend and I leave you with this post feeling so grateful. I hope you can find the same feeling in your own lives.

You can always help. You can always do more.

Friends,

Please help a wonderful organization to get back on their feet. Father Greg Boyle and Homeboy Industries of East Los Angeles are going through a serious financial struggle right now. Take a lesson from G-Dawg's humility and help this incredible organization.

You can read about Homeboy Industries here: LA's Homeboy Industries Lays Off Most Employees

And you can donate here: Donate to Homeboy

Words and Meanings

Tonight was Father Frank’s birthday. We went to mass at 5:30pm at the church in Kloof and then, as we do every other Thursday, drank red wine with the 3 priests and indulged in some good cheese. It was a nice ending to another long and frustrating day at St. Leo’s Primary School.

School was rough today for the same reasons it usually is. All of the teachers left their classrooms empty from 11:30am until the end of school at 2:30pm. Our lessons went well except for regular schedule interruptions. They recently stopped allowing many of the students attend their computer classes. They have decided only the students who can afford the computer fee are allowed to learn about computers. This also negatively affects their oral English classes that we teach. We also learned (as we were walking back to our car at 2:30pm) that there is no school tomorrow. So, that’s good. Maybe.

Work at 1000 HCH on Tuesday was rough as well. I took care of an 11 month old who only weighed 3kgs. Her name was Samkelisiwe and all of her bodily functions were shutting themselves down because she is so malnourished. When she and her mother were finally fed, it was almost painful to watch the way they ate as if it were the first time they had ever been presented with food. I don’t think I will ever forget Phume and Samke. We enrolled her in the crèche, so now she will get regularly fed, bathed, and clothed. Who will take care of her mother, Phume, though? How is helping one ever enough?

On a brighter note, I have begun helping a young man named Mthokozisi to improve his English so that he can find a better paying job. He wrote an awesome essay for me to present the language skills he possesses so we can assess and move on with our lessons. I thought I would share it with you, so that you can share his story (I didn’t edit it – just typed it as he gave it to me):

My name is Mthokosizi Dube. I am 23 years of age (to give you some perspective – 23 is also my age). I was born in January seven 1987. I live at a place Called Inchanga. I hate that i can not speak English fluently because its going to be hard for me to survive in South Africa if I do not try to improve my English. I am willing to learn as much as I can.

Academically I previously studied financial account at Damelin College in 2007. I did Trial Balance i got 86% and I did payroll and Bank Reconciliation i got 71%, unfortunately I did not complete my diploma. My maternal grandmother who was paying my college fess passed away in January 2008 that forced my withdrawal from Academia. In the past two years I have been doggedly searching for a job but due to my low level of qualification I have not found one. I have only seen my friends who have more qualificationsthan I have secure lucrative jobs with a plethora of opportunities. I think without an advanced degree opportunities for upwards mobility are limited. It is really tough for me because after my birth both of my parents passed away. I was raised by my paternal grandmother who passed as well when I was in grade 4. Her unfortunate death resulted in my living with my maternal grandmother until 2008. I really need to do something because it is hard for me to stay focused in life. I do not even know who I am.

So, that was the flooring essay Mthoko shared with me. I was so surprised to read it after he had repeatedly told me how limited his English was. When I told him that I wanted to share his essay with you, he was so flattered and humble about it. He continues to stay motivated and wants to work as hard as he can to help himself achieve great goals. He gives me great hope.

Letting Go Gains Tighter Grip

Frustration is easy to come by in South Africa. It’s hard to constantly appreciate the breathe taking beauty of my drive to work when all over the streets are half-finished, half-assed “infrastructure improvements” for the World Cup imposed by a government that (as of late) hasn’t believed much in follow-through. It’s hard to feel excited about the opportunities the 1000 Hills Community Helpers offer the hundreds of women of Inchanga when I pass the same three 16 year olds on the corner trying to make a buck everyday. And how can you appreciate an education that is offered to a child when daily teachers are failing to show up to classes, or if they do show up somehow manage to do anything but teach. I can’t tell you the number of times the classrooms on either side of the library we teach have been filled with screaming Grade 3 or Grade R students. As I said, appreciation is hard. Desperation is easy. There are days when tears find me more frequently than laughter.

Never in my life have I felt such utter exhaustion the way that South Africa grants it to me daily. We wake up before the sun has risen and often arrive home after it sets. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the hardest thing I have experienced yet in my still very young life.

Anyways, moving on. Today I found some clarity. It came to me somewhere between a fit of tears that hit me after receiving a package from my mum that was already open, soaked, covered in mold and 75% destroyed and cooking dinner for the girls. I was cooking eggplant parm and feeling sorry for myself about how tired I felt and how sad I was about the package and how frustrating it is to live in South Africa sometimes (or all the time?). Then, as usually happens, a song played that made me re-evaluate my emotions. “Letting go gains tighter grip.” It is so easy for me to cling to the hardships, there are so many of them around to cling to. I can very easily allow myself to get lost in the overabundance of sadness that dwells here. But why would I ever hold on to that when there are incredible things here that I will never, ever in my life experience again. So my attempt now is to bring these things to you (in blog, photo, and video form). Maybe sharing them will allow me to more fully let go of feeling so desperate.

The first thing I want to share with you is the way we start our days at St. Leo’s Primary School. I know I have mentioned it in earlier blogs, but I want to give you a more vivid depiction. At 7:30am a bell rings in the school yard. 700 children, from Grade R to Grade 7 race to line up in single sex lines, from oldest to youngest. Usually the air is colder and the kids are bundled up like snowmen. The red dust from the ground is usually unsettled from the urgent rush to line up before Mam Mthethwa becomes aggravated. The they sing at least three songs. Almost always in Zulu and without fail in beautiful and natural harmony (Africa somehow breeds it in you in a way I have never seen anywhere else in the world). My soul feels more alive in those 20 minutes than I have ever experienced before.

And don’t even get me started on the amazing female role models I have encountered here. Themba Themba (I’m not joking! That is her name and surname. She married a man with the surname “Themba”) is the administrator and grade 4 teacher at St. Leo’s. Not only does she teach and essentially hold the school together at its seams, she knows every single student (out of 700!) and each of their stories. AND she dances. I wish you could meet her. And then there is Dawn Leppan, who founded the 1000 Hills Community Helpers. She lives in Inchanga and is the only white woman I know who can drive through the valley at night and not turn heads. She takes calls at any hour of the night and has, quite literally, given everything she has to the people she is serving. Her selflessness is apparent in her children as well. Her daughter Karen quite a full-time job to run the dispensary at the center for free. I could go on for pages about these incredible women. I am so blessed to be so regularly surrounded by so many great women.

The cottage one boys at St. Theresa’s boys home are another source of great joy and great frustration. Even despite the 45 minute “chat” (which ended up being more of a 45 minute guilt trip from me about responsibility) Sifiso still called me Bex and walked me to my car and Philane actually did his homework for once. So, I shrug of the frustration and exchange it for the unending love I feel for the 10 boys in Cottage One.

So… 3 moments. It’s easier to focus on the things that are uplifting anyway. Like I said, letting go gains tighter grip.

I get knocked down, but I get up again...

... you're never gonna keep me down.

I figured I should probably include some semblance of an update about life in general and not just my emotional psychosis. So, here's an attempt:

1. My brother visited. (And I found no time to inform you! Sorry!) We went on safari at Hluhluwe and stayed at an awesome backpackers called Isinkwe. We also sang with the babies, turned Sam into a human jungle gym at St. Theresa's, drank a lot of brown drink, saw a movie, and were happy.

2. Meg and I have taken on a big project at 1000 Hills for the world cup. We are organizing 5 weeks of themed activities for the school holidays to provide the kids with a safe haven as an alternative to the streets (which host dangers such as abduction and human trafficking). We will give them two full meals and some (hopefully) awesomely educational activities. Shameless plug: if you want to donate anything for this please contact me at becster08@gmail.com and we can arrange something.

3. I have my ipod back. Music and I are once again happily reunited. And I am shamelessly into Will Smith this week, thanks to Sinead and her awesome iPod. I'm also in love with the book I am reading, which I am sure you could tell from my blog post previous to this one. And still want to bring Thobani back to the states with me. Man that kid is awesome.

4. Otherwise, I am going camping this weekend with the girls and some friends for Adam's birthday down the South Coast. I borrowed a sleeping bag that has climbed to the top of Kilimanjaro. Hopefully that's not the closest I come to Kili's summit.

Usale Kahle. I miss you all very much and you are always in my heart.

PS - I was pondering today in the car on my drive home from St. Theresa's how fucking great it is that I have so many 'best' friends. I am so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life. I am completely serious. I am so infinitely blessed with you crazy people. A thousand time thank you.

Two Points for Honesty

So I’ve been reading this incredible book by Tracy Kidder called Mountains Beyond Mountains. I’m sure all you social justice-heads out there that I’m close with have read it at least once. Anyways, the book is about a Harvard educated doctor and anthropologist named Paul Farmer. When Farmer was my age he began commuting between a life in Cange, Haiti and medical school in Boston. This blog has turned into a reflection on the unparalleled work that Paul Farmer has done for the people in Haiti. But, it is also a painfully honest reflection on my thoughts on my own service and also on my calling towards a life long service.

On page 25 of Mountains Beyond Mountains Farmer says that he doesn’t sleep because he can’t. When he sleeps there is always someone who is not getting treatment and he cannot bear that thought.

My feelings upon initially reading that particular passage were feelings of great despair, an emotion I have been battling severely since my first trip to South Africa in 2007. How can we possibly begin to fix anything or help anyone? The inscription at the beginning of the book is a Haitian Proverb: “Beyond mountains there are mountains.” Any glimmer of success and healing is tarnished by the next challenges, which are undoubtedly waiting for you as soon as you summit the previous ones.

Once I seemingly work through the despair, I am met with my own guilt. I feel the weight of Farmer’s decision not to rest so he can meet the vast amount of need. But yet, at then end of my days here, I am not thinking about how more I can help the people I spend my days with. I am thinking about how long it will be until I can rest my head. I realize and accept that I am not expected to deny myself rest. My frustration lies in the fact that I cannot find in myself the tireless zeal and commitment that Farmer seems to have.

I love South Africa (very obviously, or I wouldn’t be back here a second time). I love my work. I love the beauty and the brokenness and the contrasts and the progress that has been made and the progress that will be made. But my selfish and very human nature is keeping me from submerging myself completely, as Paul Farmer has done with his entire life in Haiti.

I can’t wrap my mind around how natural and easy it seems to be for him (and for others) to devote the entirety of their being to service. I think part of the learning process is that it probably isn’t easy or natural for anyone and that I shouldn’t expect that it would be for myself either. Being here is important and an awesome step towards these things, but I often feel that there is something within me hesitating to give more than just this year. Sustainable service goes far beyond a one year commitment and I feel as if I am hesitant to give that. And I feel frustrated and saddened about the hesitation within me.

I’ve been meditating and praying a great deal on whether or not I am called to live here permanently. I want to be able to dedicated my life to something the way that Farmer did. To give my entirety to helping and bettering a place. To the principles of “ubuntu” that I’m always harping on. But my constant battle with my own human desires and fears.

Another conversation and battle I have been having within my head is what skill I have to offer. A lot of Farmer’s work surrounds his medical services. It is a practical thing that is needed everywhere. I say I have this desire to provide my aid, but what exactly is it that I am providing? And is this argument in my head even relevant if I don’t have something specific to offer? Or am I just another white liberal (or WL as Farmer calls us) who wants to feel better about herself and her notions of services?

Anyways there isn’t really a point to this ramble. I want to only desire a life dedicated to enabling others to live fully. I guess that is the point of this. What I want to desire and what I actually desire are two very separate things. There have been many moments where my desire for chocolate, a long run, Philadelphia, or comfort have far outweighed my desire towards constant service. And I am frustrated about that.

Happy Earth Day!

Let’s start off with a little Michael Franti to get us in the mood:

I don't need a passport to walk on this earth
Anywhere I go cause I was made of this earth
I'm born of this earth, I breathe of this earth, and even with the pain I believe in this earth

So I wake up every morning and I'm stepping on the floor
I wake up every morning and I'm stepping out the door
I got faith in the sky, faith in the one, I got faith in the people walkin underneath the sun

Cause every bit of land is a holy land, and every drop of water is a holy water, and every single child is son or the daughter of the one earth mama and the one earth papa

This time last year I was hanging out in Topanga Canyon in California celebrating the earth. This year I will be teaching Zulu babies how to tye dye and plant trees. Close enough J.

Meet Thobani

I've decided that trying to explain living here is far too daunting a task for me. So in an attempt to give you some insight into how incredible things are here, I am going to slowly introduce you to some of the phenomenal people who I cross paths with everyday. Thobani is the young gentleman on the right. The fella with the dredlocks is also wonderful and I will tell you all about him sometime soon (I can't recall his name, but we call him Lil Wyclef... can't you see the resemblance?).

Anyways, Thobani is a wonderful 5 year old who I see 3 times a week at 1000 HCH. He lives with his dad and has an extremely difficult situation at home. He is by far the naughtiest fellow in the creche. He likes to walk up to you and sock you right in the hip. But he has stolen my heart away. When I feel any sadness, he seems to know that I do. Thobani walks up to me with his arms out and I can't imagine anything better in the world and I forget what I was sad about.

So, I hope that each of you have someone to hug you and make you feel that way. I wish it were Thobani. But, we can't all be so lucky :).

Lesson Learned

Loving one another is the only thing in this world that matters at all. Do that and everything else will fall into place.

If Heaven Was a Mile Away

I know I've talked a bit about how close I have gotten to the teenagers I work with in Cottage 1 at St. Theresa's Boys Home in Durban. But, in reality, there is no way you can fully understand the utter hilarity that ensues when I am with them unles you see it for yourself. So, here it is, ladies and gents, Siya and Sifiso and a little "If Heaven Was Only a Mile Away"... or something like that...

There's far too much to take in here.

So I wanted to share some photos with you while I am on a computer that doesn't have a bandwidth limit....

This is my favorite little homie from 1000 HCH. His name escapes me, but doesn't he look like Wyclef?!

This is the view in my backyard. No, I am not joking. Yes you can come visit if you would like.

And these are the beautiful women I live with in the beautiful country we live in. We are so fortunate.

And now that the photos are done...

It's been so long since I've blogged a long entry about our adventures in KZN, and I am sorry to say that this one might be less than you'd hoped for, faithful readers. But, I will do my best. South Africa has a 3G internet allowance per month and our monthly quota has been run dry. So MK and I have ventured to Cdrive, the internet cafe down the road.

The past few weeks have been full of mayhem. Far too much for me to be able to explain to you in full. PBS was here for two weeks and when they finally left we had one weekend to ourselves. We decided it was time to get out of Durban for a bit. So we made the 2.5 hour trek to the Drakensberg Mountains.

We hike the Amphitheater and it was the craziest hike. I can't really explain it in words. It was about a 5 hour hike and it involved 200m of chain ladders down the side of a cliff and also some very extreme weather. I left the Berg with a very strong sense of community with the amazing women I live with and also with our 3 friends, Claire, Andrew and Mart. It was an awesome experience. I can't wait to share pictures with you.

We've been able to spend more time with the boys from St. Theresa's (the boys home in Durban). I love them so much! I feel so happy after spending the 2 quick hours with them. We learn so much from each other everytime we are together. I wish you could be graced with the absurdity of the conversations that Sifiso, Siyabonga and I have. The topics range in hilarity and seriousness. Last week we talked about predators and gay marriage. This week we spent a great deal of time discussing the weight of Lil Wayne's lyrics and Immortal Technique's mad skills. My anticipation is peaking about the South African hip hop cd that Sifiso is planning to make for us.

Living here is like a rollercoaster. We all experience the full range of emotions every single day. I can't explain it any way other than that. I feel so joyful and in the right place. And I love you. So I can't wait to share my experiences with you.

usale kahle,

b

Alive and Kickin'

Hey folks!

First of all....

Today is my Mom's birthday! Happy day, Mamma!

Also - Just a quick note to know I am alive...

Some updates:

- going away for the weekend to the Drakensberg Mountains! YAY! So excited for a taste of nature and of South Africa outside the walls of Durban.

- had a fantastic two weeks with Brian and the PBS crew. Look for us on PBS in May or so. The Augustinians will be featured on Visionaries.

-Karaoke at The Highlander Pub on Wednesdays = AWESOME.

- Work... As always always always is insane. Nothing new to report there. I'm sure I will bless you with a nutty blog about work sometime in the near future.

- I have a blog about music brewing' in my head. Look out for that.

- I miss you each very dearly and think of you often.

- Final Note: Visitors! Pat will be here for his site visit next week followed quickly by Shin's Family! and then SAM! Thank so much, cheap Emirates tickets!

Thats all I've got for you at the moment, but more to come soon I hope!

Ngiyafunda

I am learning.

My job at 1000 Hills Community Helpers has no definition. It is an amorphous thing that takes form as it needs to.

For the first month of work at 1000 HCH in Inchanga I found this lack of job definition incredibly daunting. I previously have thrived best with specific goals to accomplish. Such a life or work style is not the nature of 1000 Hills (actually, I’m pretty sure it isn’t the style of Africa in general). Everything is about going with the flow, baby.

And so, I go.

So, this undefined work has led me to experience in many fields, most of which I would never have expected to partake in.

On Thursdays I spend most of the day in the dispensary with Jimmy, the pharmacist. After 3 weeks I have gotten a strong handle on filling prescriptions. It was a shining moment for me when Karen, a nursing sister and daughter of Dawn (1000 HCH’s founder), told me I was a pharmaceutical star.

In addition to the pharmaceutical field, I also partake in the Baby Clinic on Tuesdays as an aid to Sister Dlamini (the head nursing sister at 1000 HCH). On Tuesdays 40+ babies under a year of age come for their weekly check-up. I weigh them, take temperatures, and ask about their medical histories. In addition to my lack of medical experience there also exists a pretty severe language barrier. I can say only six Zulu phrases and one of them is “Does your baby have diarrhea?”

After the babies leave sometimes I teach computer skills to the young adults who spend time at the Community Center. Many Zulu people who cannot find jobs spend time at the clinic, taking classes and reading in the library. It has been a really awesome experience spending time with Zulu people close to my age. I think we have learned a lot about each other and our different cultural backgrounds.

I have also done a brief stint as a pseudo-EMT. And by EMT, I mean that I ride in an ambulance. I could no sooner claim to have any skills as an EMT than I could claim to be a doctor. But, it has been an awesome experience going to different houses in the valley with De, the ambulance driver and Nosihle, the actual EMT. I have met some incredible people just sitting in the back of that ambulance.

And finally, the best 45 minutes of my day is the beginning. I spend the first hour with the 4 to 6 year olds singing and just loving them. The love definitely goes both ways.

The demands of my role at 1000 HCH are not few. Truly they do require me to be a jack of all trades. Flexibility at its finest. I am grateful for the challenge. How often do you get to experience such job diversity as a 23 year old. And even better and more importantly, I feel so fortunate to daily be exposed to such a vast array of talented, intelligent people who I can learn from.

A Brief Look...

Just one of the amazing little children I spend my days with...

(snagged this picture from mego.)

I promise you a longer blog soon! Maybe tonight. For the time being, send me mail :)!

A Quiet Moment of Inspiration

"Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day." -Rainer Maria Rilke

Hey Blog World,

Sorry that it's been a bit. As usual, life is crazy. I have a nice long post for you as soon as I get around to typing it. For now, enjoy my favorite Rilke quote. And also.... Send me mail!

8 Warwickshire Crescent

PO Box 41

Botha's Hill

KZN, South Africa 3660

I'm in desperate need of mix cds, so send some along if ya feel like it! And if you want some mail from KZN, email me your address! (becster08@gmail.com)

Usale Kahle,

Bec