Heritage Day

I was fortunate enough to be able to participate in one of the most excellent holiday celebrations ever this week. Even better, I was able to celebrate it TWICE. Once at St. Leo and once at 1000 Hills Community Helpers.

To give you a little background on the holiday itself, I will first allow two of our grade 4 learners to explain a bit about it two you. Pinky and Bongi on Heritage Day and King Shaka:



For more detailed information see:

http://braai4heritage.co.za/ (thanks, Shin!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heritage_Day_(South_Africa)

At St. Leo we spent the day watching the learners from each grade do various traditional dances paying homage to their heritage. We also shared a communal meal with the teachers afterwards. Shin and I filled our plates with the traditional Zulu cuisine that the teachers had prepared. I proudly partook in eating tripe, which is the lining of a cow’s stomach. I was a little too brazen with my food selection, though. After a close call with the tripe, I let Shin finish the liver I had also taken. Oh well, at least I tried!

At 1000 Hills, the teachers and learners in the crèche prepared a dance routine including a whole bunch of awesome Zulu dancing. I even participated a little bit. The kids were all decked out in traditional garments and everyone was in a happy and festive mood, celebrating each others’ cultures.

Grade 3 Zulu Kicks

A few weeks ago Shin and I had the pleasure of watching Lindani, one of the awesome Grade 7 boys we teach, do a little teaching himself. We walked out of our classroom because of a ruckus going on outside the windows. To our amusement and joy, Lindani was teaching all the grade 3 boys how to do a proper Zulu kick. Have a look:

Holiday Programme in Review (Finally)

Remember two months ago when it was the FIFA World Cup? I finally got around to loading some photos of the work we did at St. Leo and at 1000 HCH. MK and Shin did most of the work at Leo’s while Meg and I focused our energies on 1000 Hills:

At Leo’s we had a daily countdown to the Cup. Here is what it looked like:

Leo’s had a two week camp where we divided the kids into teams according to country. MK made sweet bracelets to keep track of the kiddos.

Lusanda, a grade 4 learner, shows his Paper Mache skills.

MK, Shin and Ayanda (the St. Leo’s Computer teacher) had Net Ball tourneys to keep the kids active and entertained.

And the kids decorated soccer kits for whichever team they were (they matched the groovy bracelets that MK made) assigned.

Over the hill, in Inchanga Meg and I kept the kids at the Community Center well entertained…

We did lots of Bafana themed art projects and face paints.

Some of our teachers, Pretty and Dumah, helped decorate the creche’s Bafana poster.

We also had a very successful art gallery to display all of the learners' work.

And an awesome inspirational heroes project. (If you look closely you can see “Spongebob is my hero because he is funny.” And the more sentimental and meaningful “Maduma (Dawn Leppan – founder of 1000 HCH) is my hero because she helped me.”)

A Poem For Alwa

There is an awesome baby at the 1000 Hills Community Center Creche who I have completely fallen for. Her name is Alwande and she has the most phenomenal smile. Our favorite thing about Alwa happens to be her hilarious hair. She comes in every week or so with a new hair style. It usually involves some sort of hair extensions. Keep in mind that Alwa is only 2 years old.

Anyways, this is a picture of Alwa, so that you can visualize her crazy hair.

And here is a poem that Shin wrote for her, which I try to recite to her at least once a week.

Poem for Alwa:
Your hair is so cray-cray
Even though you're just a baybay.

That's all there is for now, but I have faith that Alwa's hair will continue to change in crazy ways and our poetic creativity will grow as well.

Alwa is one of the brightest moments of my day when I work at 1000 HCH.

Visual Aide

After 8 months of being here, I thought I'd provide you with some visual assistance so that everything isn't left up to the imagination:

Below is a picture of our humble cottage, though the property you find it on is a little less so. The bay window opens up to our dining room/living room (which, if you have skyped with me, you will also have seen).

This (below) is the view from our house. I can see the sunrise and set every day. When I look at it, in photograph form and for real, I wonder how the hell I'm supposed to leave it in four months.

Below is a picture of what we like to do on weekends. Usually it involves laughing a lot. Most of the time it happens outside. Sometimes there are giraffes. Always its the four of us. From Left to Right: Me, Sinead, Mary-Kate and Meg.

I wanted to include a photo of Durban during the World Cup. It took me a long time to decide on this one. It doesn't show the actual city, but the colors are a representation of the excitement, joy and diversity that flooded the rainbow nation for a few brief weeks.

More photos coming soon, but I hope you enjoy these in the mean time.

Writer's Block

The chaos involving the wrapping up of the 2010 FIFA World Cup has clogged up my creative flow. I will have some useful material for you soon, but for the time being; let me share with you something that I find inspiration in:

Below is a quote from the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller reflecting on why he chooses to be concerned with social issues. I take these words to heart in a way I wish I could fully convey to you:

“The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain politician; the problem is the same as it always has been.

I am the problem.

I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment when he stops blaming the problems of the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. I hate this more than anything. This is the hardest principle within Christian spirituality for me to deal with. The problem is not out there; the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives in my chest.

(…)

More than my questions about efficacy of social action were my questions about my own motives. Do I want social justice for the oppressed, or do I want to be known as a socially active person? “

A Few Funny Moments

1. The Dancing Gogo of A Thousand Hills: After a long day at the crèche and clinic at 1000 HCH, as I was driving home I noticed a lone Gogo thumbin’ it on the side of the road. Begrudgingly, I pulled over to offer her a lift (imagine the rhythmic stylings of Paul Simon with Ladysmith Black Mombazo grooving in the background). She hopped, or more accurately – hobbled, into my car and immediately popped her hands into the air and started swaying and singing to the music. She said “This is nice music, my baby” and continued to dance for the next 15km until I dropped her off in Drummond. And I will never begrudge a Gogo in need of a lift again.

2. Gogo Gloria’s Advice for the week:

- Never travel alone. It is not nice. Especially when you are flying. You will see couples travelling together and it will make you feel very sad.

- It’s okay if I don’t marry until I’m 50. You have to wait for the right man. And sometimes you don’t find him until you are 50.

3. Loud Noises: In the silence of grade 4 hard at work on a worksheet about the 5 senses, a child let out the loudest fart I have ever heard in my entire life (even louder than yours, Campanelli).

4. He Who Must Not Be Named: I got to spend over 5 hours reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince aloud to Siya. My life is awesome. Also – the enraptured look on Siyabonga’s face was worth every minute of reading. AND he now is reading them on his own. Hell Yeah.

Ayoba, South Africa, Ayoba!

Just in case you wanted to be tuned into the things filling my mind and radio in the empty moments:

Waka Waka by Shakira featuring Freshly Ground

(Just a heads up to all you peeps not livin’ in RSA right now… Freshly Ground is this kick ass band fromSouth Africa that I have fallen in love with. Check them out here.) Some other things you should know about this awesome song... I learned the dance for it at the fan park last weekend. Also, Sphelele and Sphesihle, two Grade 3 boys at St. Leo, graced Shin and I with the privelege of hearing them sing and dance the entire thing. What a treat. Annnnd... I can't listen to this song without tearing up about how awesome a thing it has been for me to live here and be a part of this. So, thanks Shakira, for inducing tears constantly, since it's pretty much all I hear on the radio these days.



SHOUT for a safer South Africa

This song hasn't gotten as much publicity as the other two, but it is an awesome cover by South Africa artists to promote safety and decrease violence during the World Cup. Check out the cause here.



Wave Your Flag by K'Naan

This song, which I am sure you have all heard, is the Official Anthem of the 2010 World Cup. K'Naan is awesome and was actually in Durbs performing at the Fan Park for the Semi-Final match last week. When we went to the Fan Park to watch a game, it was a safe bet that we would hear this song at least 10 times (I promise that is not an exaggeration. really.) I will always think of dancing in the sand with people from all over the world at the beginning, middle, and end of each game we watched at the fan park. And even though I feel frustration and resentment about this song and about the damage the World Cup may have caused and about vuvuzelas being really fucking loud and annoying, this song makes me heart fill up with joy anyways.



And that's that. Please enjoy.

Three Little Birds

I’ve been listening to this Bob Marley song quite frequently recently. This month went by without even a blink. I really don’t know where it went, but my body feels its lingering presence. I think all of our exhaustion is at a pretty low point. So instead of waiting for rejuvenation, we create it for ourselves.

My own way has been to constantly continue the “Why I love…” list. So here are so more jewels for you (or for me):

1. I love good beer. I love when the Shongweni man gives us a free one for being such frequent and regular customers. I love when we go to the Market and see old men drinking them before 10am because, well, who the hell cares.
2. I love my roommates’ cooking talents and the development of my own. This week I made cauliflower fritters with my very own homemade tatziki sauce and an awesome greek salad. Sinead is currently cooking up a fabulous onion soup recipe courtesy of Jamie Oliver.
3. I love the way the air smells like winter (even when the smell really might just be the burning rubbish. I don’t mind.)
4. I love the awesome gift of being able to share this experience with visitors (such as Sam, Shin’s family, Cat and Chrissy, Meg’s friends and all visitors to come). As many of you know, it is quite impossible to explain an inexplicable experience to anyone who has not seen it with their own eyes. So I am thankful for having a few people see for themselves what our lives are here and what the work we do is.
5. I really love the new Durban Waterfront
6. I love Woolworth’s picnics on the beach.
7. I love going to breakfast with people I love after a long, long night out.
8. I love finding my roommates amidst the crowds when we hearing the fateful opening beats of Toto’s “Africa” at a bar.
9. I have never appreciated cheese so much in my entire life.
10. I love face painting and I love paper mache.

Why I wake up in the morning...

Our Favorite Lessons

I thought in an attempt to give you some insight into our classroom life at St. Leo's and more recently for me in the 1000 HCH creche that perhaps I would provide you with some pictures of our favorite lessons and a brief explanation:

There is an awesome book in the St. Leo's library called The Gruffalo. Maybe someday if you are lucky enough I will read it to you. Anyways, we did an awesome project with grade 4 after reading The Gruffalo. First we talked about adjectives and then we each drew our own Gruffalo. Here are some of the finished results.



This particular project was one of my favorites... although I had nothing to do with it. But, I wanted to share it with all of you because of how awesome I think it is. So here is the Grade 3 Earth Day project courtesy of MK and Shin. They did a wonderful job if I do say so myself.





Sometimes we have days where we feel silly. That's what happened when we did the letter "H" with Grade 4. So we made hats and listened to music all day:



And of course we did several lessons of the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Here are some pictures of our favorites:
Percival, Sizwe and Vuyani showing off our 2010 "South Africa Welcomes the World" Wall.
And below, our classroom beautiful decorated with the grade 3's Bafana Bafana Jerseys:




Also, in case you were wondering... yes. I hear vuvuzelas ALL the time. No, I don't own one. But I have tried blowing on one thanks to the boys from St. Theresa's:

International Languages: It Thrills Me Right Down To My Marrow.

South Africa has this amazing musician named Johnny Clegg. The French have come to refer to him (quite aptly) as the “White Zulu”.

On Thursday, Meg, Shin and I met up with our friends Andrew and Gordon to go see Johnny perform at Gateway (the largest mall in the Southern Hemisphere). The show opened with the lead singer of a band called Tree63. He ended his performance with Three Little Birds > Wave Your Flag > Nkosi Si’Kelele Afrika. It was awesome.

Anyways – Johnny opened the show with a few of our favourites, including “I’m Sitting on the Top of Kilimanjaro” in which he rhymes several words with Kilimanjaro, including marrow, tomorrow, and sorrow.

I stopped grooving long enough to realize that I was in a crowd of mostly white South Africans but we were all dancing and singing along to songs written and sung entirely in Zulu. At first I was irritated. Why couldn’t these white South Africans make more of an effort to integrate the culture that surrounds them into their lives. But then I realized that was exactly what was happening all around me. And, seriously – how cool is that?!

And then yesterday, we decided that instead of walking back to the car from the FIFA fan park, we would dance. Don’t worry… 4 little white girls from the Northeast of the USA started several dance parties. It didn’t matter what race we were or what colour we were or what language we spoke. Music doesn’t give a damn about that nonsense. It was just music and dancing. Man, I wish the world could be so simple.

So between the white zulu, a million world cup dance parties, and a few good soccer matches, I think we have safely exited the mid-yea slump and are moving on with the next 6 months of our South African lives.

Feel it. It is here.

When I studied abroad in Pretoria in 2007, a billboard was put up that we saw when we walked to class. It said “South Africa: Host of the 2010 FIFA World Cup”. I remember thinking how far away it seemed. My classmates and I talked extensively about how awesome it would be to reunite in 3.5 years in South Africa to celebrate such a momentous event for the country and the continent. Almost 4 years ago it seemed impossible to think about it. Yet, here I live, in the country I fell in love with four years ago.

Last night, I was part of the dream that has materialized for South Africa. At 2pm, in Durban, I got to stand with people from all over the world, proudly bearing both the American and South African flags. My residual feeling of grief and anxiety did not exist last night as I watched the opening ceremonies. I am so proud to be here for this.

The emotion I experienced and witnessed in others was very much like watching the streets of South Central Los Angeles flood as we realized we had elected our first black president. It was like the peace that settled over the crowd during Obama’s inauguration. Flags of every culture cover cars, very similar, in a way, to the comraderie that America found after the tragedy of 9/11.

South Africa has a lot of problems. But for now, in this month, ubuntu seems more real than ever. So, I’m grabbin’ my vuvuzela, puttin’ on my red white and blue, and heading to Durbs for the England v. USA match.

PS – If you were wondering… South Africa’s team tied Mexico 1-1 last night. And South Africa scored the first goal of the 2010 FIFA World Cup.

Feel it. It is here.

7 Days

I apologize for the pause in blogging for the past week. Our house was hit by lightning in a large storm a few weeks ago and our internet and computer have been out of whack for quite some time. But we seem to be back on track (finally).

I wrote this blog out on some paper scraps from our classroom at St. Leo’s. It was lunchtime when I was writing (10 a.m.) and Shin and I were listening to Eddie Vedder sing to us from the Into The Wild soundtrack. Shin was reading aloud from her Bill Bryson book about Shakespeare and offering me interesting facts about his life and I was trying to ignore the screaming Grade R outside the door to focus on this blog post.

I’m still feeling the effects of the mid-year slump. My love for this place and the kids and people I come across is constantly at war with my frustration with the way South Africa works as a whole and with my homesickness and longing to feel comfortable again (although, my physical comfort is fine… my discomfort is almost entirely intangible). What a loss to myself if I fail to continually challenge myself towards discomfort. I hope I never settle into comfort and disregard the worlds injustices.

So, moving on… I guess an update about life would be a good place to start:

- Things at 1000 HCH are going well. There’s been a little bit of conflict regarding Meg and my job definition as full-time volunteers. It’s challenging to not have a clearly defined role in a place. Otherwise, we gave out quarterly food parcels on Tuesday and the center was a madhouse. But it was a positive energy. Everyone was singing and dancing while they patiently (for the most part) waited to be given their parcels. I haven’t seen Samke or Phume since their first visit, so that is upsetting. On a brighter note, we are helping two diabetic Gogos pay for their medicine through the aid of an awesome US NPO called Care Now!. If it goes well, they might start a sponsoring program for the Gogos!

- St. Leo’s is going well this week. We made hats with Grade 4 last week (picture coming soon!). I am planning to go to an internet café sometime soon and upload a video of them singing so you can envision it a little better. We had mass with the school and a new Zulu priest yesterday. I feel solidarity with them in the strongest way possible when we attend mass together. It is a very unique and special feeling. It’s as if skin color finally becomes irrelevant. Wealth doesn’t matter during the ceremony because when it comes down to it, we are all part of the same big thing. Thank God for little prayers answered.

- Everyone in South Africa is gearing up for the World Cup (which, by the way, is only 7 days away). Every Friday everyone in the country wears yellow and green and pulls out their Bafana Bafana jerseys. At St. Leo we have a pep rally to get pumped up. When I’m not focusing on how damaging the World Cup could be for my kids, it actually is quite a unifying and beautiful thing for this country. It evokes pride and comraderie that reminds me of the Post-9/11 feelings that happened in the United States. Everyone seems to look past their differences to wear the SA flag and cheer together.

To leave you on a laughing note, on Monday Shin and I taught Grade 6 and I had the most hilariously klutzy day. First, as I was writing on it, the chalkboard flew off the wall and almost ate me. Then, as I was picking up the chalkboard and trying to recover from the incident, I accidentally stepped on the hem of my skirt and as I stood up I failed to bring my skirt with me. Thank goodness I chose to wear leggings that day, though I think the Grade 6 boys were still thoroughly embarrassed (don’t worry boys, so was I).

Ukubonga

Five months is definitely a good point for a mid-year slump. The approaching Fifa World Cup evokes in me not excitement but dread. There is an iron fist in my stomach and I wonder if a country with the fastest growing HIV/AIDS rate in the world can handle such a huge influx of people and attention.

All 4 of us have been facing these less than pleasant emotions for the past few weeks. In an attempt to raise morale, Shin did an awesome spirituality night that involved talking about not what frustrates us about South Africa, but what we can’t imagine living without. I’m going to share them with you. My life will never ever be the same because of these things:

- Hour long prayers at St. Leo because teachers aren’t there. Specifically Lindani’s bashful face when he realizes you are watching him.

- Phumelele sneaking a bran muffin into my purse.

- Waking up and looking at Embo every morning.

- Solidarity. And somehow figuring it out.

- Female role models: Karen, Dawn, Themba, the 1000 HCH ladies, Gogos.

- Gogos in general. Particularly Gogo Ndlovu, Gogo Gloria, Gogo Flossie., etc….

- Slow jams

- South African Wine and Salti-Crax

- Being an Auntie at St. Theresa’s Boys Home. Cottage One. Loving the hell out of teenage boys who are embarrassed by me. The Ngcobo brothers (the picture is of me and the 3 of them: Siyabonga, Sfiso, and Manqoba)

- “throwing it to Embo” – when my brother was here he caught a very large mouse in our house and threw it into the valley of Embo.

- The man who sells us beer every weekend at the Shongweni Market

- The Shongweni Market

- SA terminology: robots, boot, keen, etc…

- Avos the size of your face

- The world’s most beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

- The letters Q, C and X and being able to properly pronounce them

- R7.58 to the US Dollar

- Karaoke

- The Indian Ocean

- When people think I know what the hell I am doing at work.

- Learning what the hell I am doing. Ngiyafunda.

There is so much more and I will always add to this. It is such a healthy way to remind myself (ourselves) that moments are fleeting. The is no room for anything but gratefulness and thanksgiving.

A Weekend in 1000 Hills

A Weekend in 1000 Hills

Some of my blogs will probably end up being long, thoughtful, and reflective. Others, like this one, will be simple and less emotionally charged updates.

My current small joy is that I discovered I have a recording of “Children Go Where I Send Thee” on my iPod. I realize that it is Christmas music, but it’s the little things in life that bring joy. Also, it’s winter here so but me some slack! J

This weekend seemed more low key compared to last weekend’s South Coast camping shenanigans. But for a low key weekend we accomplished a good amount of things.

Every Friday Shin, MK and I drive to Gogo Ndlovu’s house (Gogo is Themba Themba’s mother). We spend a little over 2 hours with Gogo each Friday attempting to get some of the Zulu language to stick in our minds. It’s difficult on Fridays to find the motivation to study a language so foreign to us especially after a week of draining and emotional work. Gogo is worth putting out the extra effort though. She always, without fail makes us laugh. For instance, while teaching us verb classes this week, she used “I don’t like your upper lip” as a casual example. Maybe it’s not funny right now but trust me that hearing an older Zulu Gogo say it so nonchalantly will have you nearly wetting yourself with laughter.

Saturday we spent the day at one of the most beautiful houses I’ve ever had the pleasure of being in. Someone decided to throw a benefit beauty event for the Kloof SPCA and for 1000 HCH. So the girls and I attended, on Dawn’s dime. We drank Mimosas, at cupcakes with sparkles, and listened to 3 hours of beauty tips (I felt a little awkward in my unbrushed hair and my Birkenstocks, but hey, it was for a good cause). I think that sometimes I feel extremely uncomfortable around excessive displays of money, but that’s a whole other blog. The amazing thing about the event was that the host announced at the end that she would be donating 100% of the proceeds. That means that she footed the entire bill for the beautiful event. After she announced that, my discomfort melted into sheer gratitude.

Meg and I went to one of our co-workers birthday celebrations on Sunday. The women who volunteer at 1000 HCH are incredible. We really are so incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by so many people so full of love. I had a chocolate milkshake and a man named Patrick played James Taylor on his guitar. My moments of sadness about being here are always washed away by moments like that. When I am surrounded by people I love and music I love and a chocolate milkshake, I forget the sad things and only remember the love I feel.

Finishing off the weekend, MK and I drove to Kwanyuswa to visit Gogo Gloria. She was bitten by a snake a few years ago and developed a relationship with the previous volunteers while she was being treated at the Respite Unit. When Brian (another former volunteer) visited in March, he introduced MK to her and now we are able to continue that relationship, which I am very grateful for. We sat with Gogo for about 1.5 hours but it only felt like 20 minutes. She told us about many things. She talked for a while about Madonna and her adoptions, divorces, and travels. She is the sharpest woman. She remembers everyones names. When my brother was here he visited with her. Three weeks later she asked how he is doing back in the states at work with my mom. Gogo also commented on our short dresses (knee length!!) saying that MK and I both should wear them because we have strong legs, unlike hers which were bitten by the snake. Also, apparently we have good teeth.

Spending time with Gogo was the perfect end to the weekend and I leave you with this post feeling so grateful. I hope you can find the same feeling in your own lives.

You can always help. You can always do more.

Friends,

Please help a wonderful organization to get back on their feet. Father Greg Boyle and Homeboy Industries of East Los Angeles are going through a serious financial struggle right now. Take a lesson from G-Dawg's humility and help this incredible organization.

You can read about Homeboy Industries here: LA's Homeboy Industries Lays Off Most Employees

And you can donate here: Donate to Homeboy

Words and Meanings

Tonight was Father Frank’s birthday. We went to mass at 5:30pm at the church in Kloof and then, as we do every other Thursday, drank red wine with the 3 priests and indulged in some good cheese. It was a nice ending to another long and frustrating day at St. Leo’s Primary School.

School was rough today for the same reasons it usually is. All of the teachers left their classrooms empty from 11:30am until the end of school at 2:30pm. Our lessons went well except for regular schedule interruptions. They recently stopped allowing many of the students attend their computer classes. They have decided only the students who can afford the computer fee are allowed to learn about computers. This also negatively affects their oral English classes that we teach. We also learned (as we were walking back to our car at 2:30pm) that there is no school tomorrow. So, that’s good. Maybe.

Work at 1000 HCH on Tuesday was rough as well. I took care of an 11 month old who only weighed 3kgs. Her name was Samkelisiwe and all of her bodily functions were shutting themselves down because she is so malnourished. When she and her mother were finally fed, it was almost painful to watch the way they ate as if it were the first time they had ever been presented with food. I don’t think I will ever forget Phume and Samke. We enrolled her in the crèche, so now she will get regularly fed, bathed, and clothed. Who will take care of her mother, Phume, though? How is helping one ever enough?

On a brighter note, I have begun helping a young man named Mthokozisi to improve his English so that he can find a better paying job. He wrote an awesome essay for me to present the language skills he possesses so we can assess and move on with our lessons. I thought I would share it with you, so that you can share his story (I didn’t edit it – just typed it as he gave it to me):

My name is Mthokosizi Dube. I am 23 years of age (to give you some perspective – 23 is also my age). I was born in January seven 1987. I live at a place Called Inchanga. I hate that i can not speak English fluently because its going to be hard for me to survive in South Africa if I do not try to improve my English. I am willing to learn as much as I can.

Academically I previously studied financial account at Damelin College in 2007. I did Trial Balance i got 86% and I did payroll and Bank Reconciliation i got 71%, unfortunately I did not complete my diploma. My maternal grandmother who was paying my college fess passed away in January 2008 that forced my withdrawal from Academia. In the past two years I have been doggedly searching for a job but due to my low level of qualification I have not found one. I have only seen my friends who have more qualificationsthan I have secure lucrative jobs with a plethora of opportunities. I think without an advanced degree opportunities for upwards mobility are limited. It is really tough for me because after my birth both of my parents passed away. I was raised by my paternal grandmother who passed as well when I was in grade 4. Her unfortunate death resulted in my living with my maternal grandmother until 2008. I really need to do something because it is hard for me to stay focused in life. I do not even know who I am.

So, that was the flooring essay Mthoko shared with me. I was so surprised to read it after he had repeatedly told me how limited his English was. When I told him that I wanted to share his essay with you, he was so flattered and humble about it. He continues to stay motivated and wants to work as hard as he can to help himself achieve great goals. He gives me great hope.

Letting Go Gains Tighter Grip

Frustration is easy to come by in South Africa. It’s hard to constantly appreciate the breathe taking beauty of my drive to work when all over the streets are half-finished, half-assed “infrastructure improvements” for the World Cup imposed by a government that (as of late) hasn’t believed much in follow-through. It’s hard to feel excited about the opportunities the 1000 Hills Community Helpers offer the hundreds of women of Inchanga when I pass the same three 16 year olds on the corner trying to make a buck everyday. And how can you appreciate an education that is offered to a child when daily teachers are failing to show up to classes, or if they do show up somehow manage to do anything but teach. I can’t tell you the number of times the classrooms on either side of the library we teach have been filled with screaming Grade 3 or Grade R students. As I said, appreciation is hard. Desperation is easy. There are days when tears find me more frequently than laughter.

Never in my life have I felt such utter exhaustion the way that South Africa grants it to me daily. We wake up before the sun has risen and often arrive home after it sets. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the hardest thing I have experienced yet in my still very young life.

Anyways, moving on. Today I found some clarity. It came to me somewhere between a fit of tears that hit me after receiving a package from my mum that was already open, soaked, covered in mold and 75% destroyed and cooking dinner for the girls. I was cooking eggplant parm and feeling sorry for myself about how tired I felt and how sad I was about the package and how frustrating it is to live in South Africa sometimes (or all the time?). Then, as usually happens, a song played that made me re-evaluate my emotions. “Letting go gains tighter grip.” It is so easy for me to cling to the hardships, there are so many of them around to cling to. I can very easily allow myself to get lost in the overabundance of sadness that dwells here. But why would I ever hold on to that when there are incredible things here that I will never, ever in my life experience again. So my attempt now is to bring these things to you (in blog, photo, and video form). Maybe sharing them will allow me to more fully let go of feeling so desperate.

The first thing I want to share with you is the way we start our days at St. Leo’s Primary School. I know I have mentioned it in earlier blogs, but I want to give you a more vivid depiction. At 7:30am a bell rings in the school yard. 700 children, from Grade R to Grade 7 race to line up in single sex lines, from oldest to youngest. Usually the air is colder and the kids are bundled up like snowmen. The red dust from the ground is usually unsettled from the urgent rush to line up before Mam Mthethwa becomes aggravated. The they sing at least three songs. Almost always in Zulu and without fail in beautiful and natural harmony (Africa somehow breeds it in you in a way I have never seen anywhere else in the world). My soul feels more alive in those 20 minutes than I have ever experienced before.

And don’t even get me started on the amazing female role models I have encountered here. Themba Themba (I’m not joking! That is her name and surname. She married a man with the surname “Themba”) is the administrator and grade 4 teacher at St. Leo’s. Not only does she teach and essentially hold the school together at its seams, she knows every single student (out of 700!) and each of their stories. AND she dances. I wish you could meet her. And then there is Dawn Leppan, who founded the 1000 Hills Community Helpers. She lives in Inchanga and is the only white woman I know who can drive through the valley at night and not turn heads. She takes calls at any hour of the night and has, quite literally, given everything she has to the people she is serving. Her selflessness is apparent in her children as well. Her daughter Karen quite a full-time job to run the dispensary at the center for free. I could go on for pages about these incredible women. I am so blessed to be so regularly surrounded by so many great women.

The cottage one boys at St. Theresa’s boys home are another source of great joy and great frustration. Even despite the 45 minute “chat” (which ended up being more of a 45 minute guilt trip from me about responsibility) Sifiso still called me Bex and walked me to my car and Philane actually did his homework for once. So, I shrug of the frustration and exchange it for the unending love I feel for the 10 boys in Cottage One.

So… 3 moments. It’s easier to focus on the things that are uplifting anyway. Like I said, letting go gains tighter grip.

I get knocked down, but I get up again...

... you're never gonna keep me down.

I figured I should probably include some semblance of an update about life in general and not just my emotional psychosis. So, here's an attempt:

1. My brother visited. (And I found no time to inform you! Sorry!) We went on safari at Hluhluwe and stayed at an awesome backpackers called Isinkwe. We also sang with the babies, turned Sam into a human jungle gym at St. Theresa's, drank a lot of brown drink, saw a movie, and were happy.

2. Meg and I have taken on a big project at 1000 Hills for the world cup. We are organizing 5 weeks of themed activities for the school holidays to provide the kids with a safe haven as an alternative to the streets (which host dangers such as abduction and human trafficking). We will give them two full meals and some (hopefully) awesomely educational activities. Shameless plug: if you want to donate anything for this please contact me at becster08@gmail.com and we can arrange something.

3. I have my ipod back. Music and I are once again happily reunited. And I am shamelessly into Will Smith this week, thanks to Sinead and her awesome iPod. I'm also in love with the book I am reading, which I am sure you could tell from my blog post previous to this one. And still want to bring Thobani back to the states with me. Man that kid is awesome.

4. Otherwise, I am going camping this weekend with the girls and some friends for Adam's birthday down the South Coast. I borrowed a sleeping bag that has climbed to the top of Kilimanjaro. Hopefully that's not the closest I come to Kili's summit.

Usale Kahle. I miss you all very much and you are always in my heart.

PS - I was pondering today in the car on my drive home from St. Theresa's how fucking great it is that I have so many 'best' friends. I am so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life. I am completely serious. I am so infinitely blessed with you crazy people. A thousand time thank you.